I was not someone who is good at setting boundaries; I would bend them at my friends’ plea or persuasion. Inwardly, I would feel resentful because I was afraid to say “no” to the things I wasn’t interested to do. 

As I grew older, I began to appreciate the beauty and the necessity of having boundaries. 

Dr Brene Brown defines boundaries as, “what is okay and what is not okay.” 

She says we can make clear what our boundaries are while still being loving and generous.

If we are not sure what boundaries to set, she probes us the BIG question: “What boundaries need to be in place for me to maintain my integrity and make the most generous assumptions about you?”

Dr Brown also said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” 

Boundaries teaches others how to treat us. Rather than harbouring resentment when we are too shy to say “no”, boundaries tell others where we stand. We can have boundaries and yet still be loving.

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