When you have a Crush

I have been tossing and turning on my bed for the 3rd consecutive night. I would wake in the middle of the night, involuntarily. Thinking of this person makes it hard for me to fall asleep.

What is a crush? A crush refers to being attracted to someone. It is a strong attraction and an intense admiration for someone. It can escalate into a deeper friendship or it can be short-lived and temporary.

The cycle of crush i went through:

Butterflies in the stomach

In crushes, love hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine play a part. When I see this person, my heart races and I was in a good mood—initially. 

Distracted and moody

Is having a crush a distraction? Oh, definitely! I found myself day-dreaming about this person. Even when I was with my friends, I was feeling restless.  

Really nervous!

When I see the crush, I was really nervous! My tongue was tied. My brain was jammed — I couldn’t think properly. I became clumsy. I couldn’t even move as my normal self and I was slow in my reactions.

All of us have experience crushes before. Having crushes is not a sinful thing. However, it is the extent of our obsession and how it interrupts our daily lives that may cause us to fall into sins. The most important thing to do is to, “guard our hearts” (Proverbs 4:23). We guard it because it is the wellspring of our life (Proverbs 4:23). Build a guard around our thoughts about this person.   

What does the Bible say we should do about our crush/infatuation?

  1. Focus on Jesus (John 10:10)

Crushing on someone/infatuation can send us through turbulent emotions. May we have peace in Christ Jesus. May He open our eyes to the wonders of the world around us. Having a crush can easily made this person the center of our lives (our hearts and universe!) but let us not lose ourselves in the process.      

  • Guard our heart (Proverbs 4:23)

The heart is a well-spring of life. Feelings and emotions that come from infatuation may cloud our minds and make us do things before we think them through. Guard our hearts so that our actions will not cause hurts to others and to ourselves.

Let us guard our hearts and minds so that we will not be overly obsessed with this person.

  • Guard our thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5)

If our thoughts are only consumed with that person, it is not healthy. Let’s think of things that are pure and lovely. 

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)    

  • Guard our relationships with others (Psalm 16:6)

Some of us may be single by choice or we are single for a season. Let us also remember to set healthy boundaries in our relationships with others. 2 Tim 2:22 reminds us the importance of purity in whatever we do. We are to pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace in all that we do. Don’t lose what is most precious to you in a moment of strong desire.

  • Trust in God (Proverbs 3:5-6, Proverbs 27:14)

Let us not be preoccupied in making things happen our way. Or to use unrighteous means to seduce someone we are interested in. God knows what we are going through. We can tell Him what is in our hearts. He is not tired of hearing the same thing again because He cares for us. Let us take all our thoughts to God. What we share with Him can be a spiritual exercise for us to explore our human condition, with its many complicated emotions. Take captive of our thoughts and give them over to God (2 Corinthians 10:5).   

Having a crush on someone means we are only human —we can be attracted to people and admire them. However, how we deal with our crush is another matter. It will be unhealthy for ourselves and others if we fail to guard our hearts, minds and emotions. Let’s ask for the grace of God as we navigate through experiencing infatuation.  

Guarding our Tongue

‘Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless’ (James 1:26).

In the letter of James, the tongue seems to be a problem (James 1:19; 2:12; 3:1-3, 14-18; 4:11-12). The words we use are a testimony that we are or are not followers of Jesus (Mark 7:15-23).

Whether our religion is true or not depends on what comes out of our mouths. The words “tight rein” here refer to those of a horse’s. During James’ time, much like today, the horse is used for transportation and also for labour work. To be able to ride a horse and to use it effectively, we have to be able to control it, or else it will go in different directions than where we intended. To control it, the rider keeps a tight rein on the horse. The reins is attached to the head of the horse, if we hold on to the rein tightly, we can control where it goes. Likewise, we need a tight rein to guard over our mouth.

What are the words we choose to use? What words come out of our mouths when we are frustrated? When we are angry? Our tongues can do great damages if we do not put a rein over it. I have seen the damages the tongue can do to the community of faith when people are not careful with their words. Once careless words are spoken in anger, whether in anger or without thinking, it will hurt others, and sometimes a relationship can not be repaired to how it used to be.  

Jesus Christ also said, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Matthew 12:34). What comes out of our mouth is an indication what is in our hearts.

In this coming week, let us listen for words that tears down, belittle others or are hurtful. May be you can spot them in conversations on the television or even in our conversations with friends and family. May we be careful with the choice of words we use. We can either build up or tear down. Let us also consider it as a part of our spiritual discipline to watch over our tongues. 

Let Every Dog (or Strays) Be Loved

I have 3 dogs, out of which 2 were strays. I strongly see the importance of rescuing or adopting abandoned dogs/cats. Here are why:

1. Giving them a second chance in life

The strays will be put to sleep eventually when there are too many of them. Adopting is giving them another chance to live, literally. 

2. The local dogs are just as lovable

The local breed are just as lovely and adorable, not just the pedigrees. Just because they are not pedigrees does not mean that they are less adorable.

Bonus point is that they know they have been rescued and therefore, they tend to be grateful. The rescued dogs in my house? They come to me for cuddles every day and I can tell from their eyes how grateful they are to have a new home. They are now such a big part of my life. We are best buddies.

3. They have prior training

If you are adopting older dogs, chances are they have lived with an owner or a family before and therefore are more likely to be trained, at least in the basic. 

I was surprised how many things my older dog already knows within the first few days in my house. He is about 3 years old when I took him home. He is really well behaved. It makes my job of training him much easier.

4.  Let us not support puppy mills

Some breeders can be so focused on making profits that they neglect on the health and wellbeing of the female dogs. Let us not support such breeders who bend to inhuman acts.

 There are so many stray dogs in our city waiting to be adopted by individuals/families who love them. The reward of giving them a loving and safe home is countless.