An Internal Dialogue with myself

Malaysia has entered into the 3rd wave of the pandemic. Towards the end of the 2nd wave, people were starting to move about and life seemed to go back to normal. With the 3rd wave of the pandemic, once again, we have to remind ourselves to be careful and to practice social distancing and personal hygiene at all times.

Now that I was not able to meet my friends as regularly, I have a chance to talk to myself— as a friend. When was the last time you were nice to yourself? It is easy to be nice to our friends and strangers, but we are not necessarily the nicest person to ourselves. We think awful things about ourselves. I am harsh on myself and say the not-so-nice things to myself all the time. Often times, we are our own biggest critic.

I am glad that I had this chance to talk to myself and be a friend to myself. Jesus said that we should love others as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39). We can not treat ourselves too poorly or else we will be devaluing ourselves from the person whom God had created us to be.

When I start to respect and treat myself better, I have a better outlook on life and am more responsive to receive the blessings and gifts that God has given to me. 

  1. Be mindful

Time slips by like sand. If I am not careful in keeping track on the use of my time, I will be overwhelmed with the tasks which needed to be completed.

Lately I have been working myself too hard. Just about half an hour ago, I was looking into the mirror and was shocked to see the dark circles under my eyes. It has been a tough and busy week, and the momentum will build up by the weekend.

I cram too much into the day. This is when I realise I have to take care of myself so that I am able to share my gifts with my family, church members and friends. Take time to be mindful of what is happening in the day and pay attention to what God is saying in every circumstance.

I keep a journal at night so that I can keep track of what happened in the day, in the past week and in the past month. Tracking my progress will help me to stay focus on what needs to be done. It may mean saying “no” to less important thing so that I can focus on the tasks that needed to be done.Time with God   

2. Time with God

This is the most important one to be on this list. Time with God is the most precious part of my day. I get to be alone with God, study His Word and to be reminded of His sovereignty and how loved I am.  Time with God also reminds me that the agenda of the day is set by God, not me. I am to welcome assignments from Him and to participate in His Work. It is an adventure with God and an adventure to know myself better.      

3. Nourish my body

Now that I am starting to eat healthy, I do feel the difference. I am less sluggish and I feel more energized.  I begin to pay attention to my body and to understand my body more, in terms of what makes me feel good and the type of food that makes me feel sick and sluggish. When I am mindful of the things I put into my body, I am showing kindness to myself. This helps me to appreciate myself. God has given me a body and this is my task to take care of it. In the past, we feed it with whatever we want because we are young and we want to satisfy our cravings for fried chicken and sweet soda. Now that I learn to feed it with the nutritious food, I feel an improvement in my overall health.

Apart from that, getting enough rest is important too. When I was functioning on 5 hours of sleep, I was irritable and made poor decisions. Now, I make it a priority to get enough sleep and rest, not just for myself, but so that I can lead better and make decisions that is beneficial to all.  

I read somewhere that exercise is a way to celebrate what my body can do. When I exercise, it gives me an opportunity to thank the Lord for what I can do with my body. Just today, I can swim longer than I normally can. These little victories help me to celebrate life.

Taken during a morning walk. Morning walks refresh me.
Saw an orchid during my morning walk. The morning walks refresh me.

Learning to Love and Appreciate Myself

Learning to love and appreciate myself is a journey. Jesus Christ had died on the Cross for me and had saved me from sin so that I can have a relationship with God. I am a child of God. I should treasure my life and enjoy the days that I have while on this earth. This is my personal growth during the pandemic—to see myself as a friend. 

How was your personal journey during this pandemic? May you discover something wonderful about yourself and that you will treasure yourself every day.

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